NDR: When everything seems to be too much…

Look folks, my depression exists.
It sucks and sadly life sucks too when I’m having a mde (major depressive episode).
I went into crisis over the weekend. Long story short I was looking hard for reasons not to cause harm to myself, and to that end I left the house early in the am in my pajamas and went for a long, long walk in the freezing rain and my slippers. My husband found me at some point and took me home and I was just a gibbering wreck who hurt so much that I couldn’t really grasp where things were connected or not. I left the house because I wasn’t safe and I was struggling not to use my scalpel knife and do it right, or I was going to go start the car in the garage and just sit in it until the carbon monoxide did the job. I walked instead. and walked. and cried and walked. I am glad I live on a rural road.

Yesterday I met my new psych/med manger. That was a hard step to take, but much needed. He put me on new meds and took me off other meds. The good news is that I got to be seen before I lost total control of myself, and I got the help I needed to keep me hanging on a while longer. I am hoping the new meds and management will help me get back onto an even keel and not be so ground down and tired and able to get things done.

I know the blog has been quiet, and that I really haven’t bothered to post anything. I will try to get back into it although I don’t know how much longer I am going to do the Etsy shop thing. If I can continue on an upward swing I’ll keep it open. If not then I’ll put it on hiatus again.

I’ll post again when I have something upbeat to say.
love you all.
E

Etsy Preview!

Well it’s really been rough but I can say that I finally got the first round of photos shot for my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ckworkshop

It’s going on 11pm here and I realize I have to be reasonable and realistic about what I can get done tonight. So instead of getting the listings done, and allllll the photos done for you guys to see, I’m only going to share some teaser photos. I’ll be listing the various items tomorrow throughout the day (when I get them all done tomorrow I’ll post about it, I promise!)

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Now, here’s the fun part for those of you who take the time to read my blog-posts and the encouragement that so many of you have taken the time to give me. I’m grateful for all the love you’ve shared and want to share something nice for you. I’ve got a 15% off coupon that you can use in my etsy shop! It’s CKW10DEC. It expires on December 10th so don’t forget to use it 🙂
(I know it says the shop isn’t open–it’ll be open as soon as I start the first listing!)

So I’m knackered. Stick a fork in me. I’m done. Hope you all enjoy seeing these photos and will check out my Etsy shop soon!

E.

Coming soon!

Hey everyboooooodddyyy!
Just want to let you all know that despite the issues here I am going to be re-opening my Etsy shop on Monday of next week! 😀
(and if you stop by here, on Monday and check my blog post you’ll find a coupon too!)

Happy Thanksgiving (in advance) to Everyone!

my photography

Most of you probably know I’m not the best or most creative of photographers. Since I am starting a new year (it’s my birthday) I decided that I want to push myself with regards to my photography.

I m working on a few plans and wit luck I will share the results here.

As the majority of my photography is shot indoors i decided that I ought to try more conventional setup s and see what the results are.

On a related note I’ve decided to do away with the paper backdrops and replace them with canvas painted ones. I believe they’re going to be more durable and easier to work with than the paper-based ones I used in the past.

Making progress is a good thing!

I’m really happy to say that eeven though I’ve been fighting a cold bug & food allergies that I managed to get quite a few things done this weekend. More than I expected to, so I’m feeling pretty good. 🙂 🙂 🙂

My goal for re-opening CKWorkshop at Etsy is November 1st and I am feeling pretty confident that I am going to have at least some of the stuff photographed and written up for it. The only thing I am unsure about is the new shipping system that Etsy has and if I should try to do their new automated option. I mean, anything that makes shipping stuff out is a great thing…I just hope it isn’t buggy.

So that’s the news for today. 🙂

Photo challenge week #1

I managed to clear off my table of all the various projects I’m working on so that I could set up to shoot a few quick photos for the challenge. 😀

First a tiny bit of info about this week’s Model. This is a Perfectly Suited Giselle (from the 2015 IT Convention) I got her off of MisterdollFace for cheap sometime last year. She had some issues (like she reeked of smoke) and she came with crumpled broken lashes that I peeled off but that pulled off the eye paint.* The first thing I did was give her a complete wash until I couldn’t detect the cigarette smell anymore. She needs her eyes repaired *I’m ok with that, it’s just been a case of I haven’t worked on her yet.

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I like her in general because she has been painted in a way that resembles Old is New Giselle *my first Giselle* She’s been re-rooted (I think that whoever did it used the tension method)and I thinnk the dark hair suits her. After I do the fix on her facial paint I will see about styling her hair (it has a ton of static flyaways).
And another:
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Now that I managed to grab out the camera I think that next week’s photos should be easier for me to get done. 🙂

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Photos of my dolls: a personal challenge

Taking some time to set up a doll, dress her and shoot.
It seems like a good place to start… not to mention that I have a bunch of dolls that I picked up over the last two years that I’ve never even photographed.

Taking this on as a personal challenge starting this week.
My goal is to shoot photos of some of my dolls each week. I want to do two posts featuring the photos. The thought behind the challenge is to help keep me motivated to do things with my dolls and add a bit of structure to my hobby. I don’t think I will do themes since just shooting some decent photos is the goal.

Emerson’s Apartment: Planning stages!

By now you may know that I have a Nightscape Giselle who I’ve cast as a character named Emerson Appleton.

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I’ve really fallen for this version of Integrity Toys Giselle sculpt. I think it’s the combination of hair/eye color. Either way she’s managed to wiggle her way into being a complete character rather than just an alternative look for Giselle Weston (which is what I had planned).

Since Emerson isn’t an actress, model or other person associated with the Wrenwood Hall costume drama I had to figure out what she does…and that also leads to where she lives.

See, the good thing about having the actresses for Wrenwood is that it is believable that 3 of them could live packed into an apartment until they start getting some money and get established. That means one apartment for them (which can later be split to different uses and/or revamped for individual apartments). With Emerson, and other non-WH characters I have to give them a bit more thought because anyplace I make for them is going to be a more or less permanent arrangement.

Emerson is an artist and a would-be writer.
She comes from a well-off family and can afford the rental rates in Quinlan’s more desirable Center Square district. I originally thought I might make her a two bedroom apartment (one for art/writing one for sleep) but the fact is that while she doesn’t come off as a spoiled brat, she is, in fact spoiled and used to a certain standard of things in her life. Since she will be moving to Quinlan, she will need to adjust to the pace of life there, and get her feet under her…because prior to this she had an apartment in NYC, and a shared studio space–both of which she has left behind.

So she complained to her Aunt that she couldn’t possibly stand to live in a studio apartment! How would she have the space she needs?!

Agnes said too bad, so sad. You’re getting a studio apartment until I think you are going to stick around. I greatly dislike having to pay off the remains of your leases when you get bored with them. It was decided that she could get a Studio and be happy with it–or stay in NYC and shut up. Or move home with Us.

Of course when it comes to dioramas I always want big and roomy and spacious.

In reality, very few people who aren’t drawing some serious money, don’t get everything they want in an apartment. This is the compromise I face when making and planning out a diorama/roomset. Size vs. Available Space, and of course, ease of storage. FWIW I would like someday to be able to leave all of my important dioramas set-up but I’m not sure I could ever manage that. Maybe just 2 or three? Or if we built me a garage just for doll stuff…. LOL *I can dream!*

I drew up what I felt was the “ideal” floorplan. One that artist-girl Emerson would want. Then I looked at the sizes of the individual rooms of it and shook my head. there was no way. If I did it that size, and to proper scale it would be 10 feet long (not even going into width here). So that was out.  I took that sketch and started paring down the room dimensions, and re-jigging how they were arranged. I wanted a roomy living room, a bathroom, a kitchen (possibly eat-in), a large bedroom and detailed hallway. That wasn’t going to happen!

Then I pared it down some more.

And some more after that.

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I came up with something that while not perfect it works for the planned use. I tweaked some things (I changed the one bedroom to a eat in kitchen) and decided that Emerson will have to cope with managing her clutter.  So I’m going to run with it.

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