I owe you all an explanation: Why haven’t I been blogging?

Well, where do I start?
How about a brief recap. If you guys want to know more, or have questions you can always comment or send me an email (that I will try to answer but facing the computer does still take a lot out of me).

I’ve been depressed and my meds are still being adjusted. I don’t know if I mentioned that I started a job back in January/Feb (I don’t remember exactly when). I’m doing retail work and the job I can cope with but my boss is just–I know it’s rare to get a boss who isn’t a jackass, but this one really does take the cake. When he interviewed me, I told him full disclosure about my mental health problems, and my physical (that I am prone to migraines). Knowing that full well, he hired me anyway and I began working there.
I never got any official training, and I am constantly being admonished because I am not doing something according to store protocol. Yes, I mention that I have not been trained, and I get told that I should just pick it all up, and that if I want to learn more then I need to pay better attention and also eavesdrop on phone calls. Yeah. Really.
There is a lot that really blows my mind about this job in so far as it is not run like any business I have ever worked for.
I won’t go too much into it except to say that my boss is politically incorrect, obnoxious, and very verbal.

Earlier this week my boss told me that he was going to either fire me or cut my hours because I was “too stressed” (which is bullshit in this particular instance) and that I have too many issues to allow me to work there the kind of hours I had been. I told him, fine if that’s what you want, I’ll go. After all it’s at-will employment and either one of us can quit/fire for whatever whenever. Then he said he would be willing to cut my hours if I wanted to stay for that…I said probably (frankly, the lost money is worth it in giving me more time to deal with everything else right now).
So apparently, he is cutting me from 28 hours a week to 10.5 hours a week. It’s a big cut, but who knows, maybe it is what I need right now. He added in caveats that he would want to call me to float / cover other people’s shifts. I said: You can always call me, but I may be doing something else at that time and might not be available.(being honest).
Anyway I tell him I’m very excited about the hours /days cut. Instead of working 5 days a week I’d be working 3, which would give me a break from his general asshole-ness.

Want to hear something sad but funny?
Yesterday he had the nerve to ask me if my husband (mark) was real or if he was actually a delusion or figment of my imagination.

Really. He said that.

And I have guilt out the ass… I have commissions that I promised I’d do, I have a couple of dolls that should have been sent out in January and they are still here in a box because it was just too much to do anything other than come home, feed the cats take my meds and try to sleep. Of course my insomnia is not helped by everything else but I take meds for it and if I don’t take them at 6pm I end up drowsy the next day which is a no-go if I want to drive or do anything really.

In addition to the job situation I also should tell you that Mark went to the UK at the end of December 2016 to to try to sort out the medical care situation for his father who had fallen and hurt himself. In the time that he was there his father got worse, his mother very needy and manipulative, and his sister not helping at all. Fast Forward to now, April 28th and he is _still_ in the UK, still trying to sort things out. His father had a few medical emergencies and now is in the hospital and has been for about 2 weeks. It’s been determined that he will need to go into a nursing home with full care because he can’t care for himself at all. Of course, this is an issue because Mark’s mother can’t live on her own, so she will need to go into adult community or something like that.

So yea, Mark is still in the UK, and it’s doubtful that he will be back before the beginning of June. It’s a long time to go without seeing the man I’ve been married to for the last 10 years, and aside from the physical distance, there’s things here at the house he does that I am simply not capable of doing. I’m doing my best, but it’s not good. The winter was the worst because we got clobbered with snow and I had to resort to begging my neighbor (down the road a 3/4 of a mile or a mile something like that) to help me shovel out. We’ve reached an agreement that I give him a steak and he does the driveway.

Add to this that I had problems with my balance due to some of the meds and fell down and sprained my wrist and fractured the other. I also fell off my chair and whacked my head, and managed to break both of my pinky toes over the last 3 months. And two weeks back they found another fracture in my wrist. Don’t know if its new or old or what. Ugh.

And at the end of February Electra began suffering from diarrhea. It didn’t pass after a week and I took her to the vet. He medicated her, tested her, did a work up and still the diarrhea persisted. He wanted to hospitalize her so he could give her fluids (against dehydration, etc) and to continue to try to figure out the issue. I was a wreck emotionally, no Electra, No Mark, asshole boss, snow and being lonely and feeling pretty isolated from everything in general. And of course, even more depressed and anxious.
She was hospitalized for more than a month.
I finally got her back 2 weeks ago (with semi solid turds the best we could manage from her at that point), with the understanding that she may need to be re-hospitalized if we can’t get to the bottom of this sooner. Tests are expensive, and vets are expensive and I love Electra with all my heart so all I can do is agree.
My vet told me he and the office staff all got attached to Electra, and that he personally felt a spiritual and emotional bond to her. Which helped to set me at ease. He cares and we’re all working on what’s best for her.
(in fact we have another appointment for her this morning, and I’m optimistic about it because for the past few days her turds have been more solid than not. Which points to this being as he suspected an irritable bowel/intestinal/stomach issue (when I took her home he gave me special food for her and it seems to be doing the job. It will mean keeping her on it for the rest of her life (or until her innards decide they don’t like it anymore).

Anyway, that’s it all in a nutshell (get the pun? I’m a nut in a shell??)
I want to be able to pick up my dolls and stuff but I’m not there yet. I have a few sitting on my computer tower (and they are covered with dust.)
I hope soon.

NDR: NaNoWriMo is coming….and a Kitty too?

Ok, totally not doll related but NaNoWriMo is starting on November 1st!! This is a good thing and a bad thing–since I am committing fully to doing it this year and even have a writing partner (yay Syd!) to bounce things off of and to also cheer on in her novel writing efforts 😀

What does me doing NaNoWriMo mean for my 1:6 stuff?
Not that much, really. I should still be able to work on the projects I have on the horizon and still meet my 2K a day word commitment.

Also, I mentioned this on Figurvore, but I am going to be going to meet a new kitten today, named –appropriately (or not)- Max.


If the meeting goes well he’ll be coming home with me this afternoon to join in the fun that goes on here!
No, really, there IS fun to be had! And no…it doesn’t include chewing the hands off my dolls! 😛

Max: an update

Ok, so we’re back from the vet’s. The we = Mark & I.  Max is being hospitalized for at least overnight. The vet (Dr.Bamber –always the best–wish we’d seen him last month instead of the other one) did a good going over on Max.

His mouth is fine, the teeth are still great, and no damage or irritation.  (that’s good, but that means the issue’s something else). Still, he’s not eating or drinking and he’s dehydrated.

Max is running a fever & has lost 1.35KG since we took him in last time. We don’t know if that is due to us trying to lower his caloric intake (to keep him from going diabetic) or if that’s a result of his not eating/drinking/etc.

Max’s still got tenderness in the abdomen, and when the doc palpitated and felt his belly & sides he said he could feel something that wasn’t quite right. (Amazing what he could feel and tell us was right though).

So.  Right now, the doc thinks that it is a fairly good possibility that Max has pancreatitis (apparently it fits some of the issues, and Max’s age & sex make it more likely).  Of course if thats the case then it’s a manageable disease and can be treated. Diagnosis…not quite as clear cut.

We’ve hospitalized him and while he’s there he’s having the following done:

  • IV Fluids
  • Ultrasound
  • And more bloodwork done

It ain’t cheap–but then, maybe this is the reason we don’t have kids? I couldn’t possibly afford them and cats and I know which I prefer!

The doctor will be calling us this afternoon with an update, and then we can expect another call this evening at about 10pm from the evening doctor.  I’m relieved we got him there, and more relieved that he’s going to be watched and kept an eye on.  Hopefully we’ll find out exactly what the problem is and then go from there.

Please keep sending Max good vibes! He’s my boy (and c’mon! He’s not even 10 yet!!!!)

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