Give me a few more weeks to get my crap together, ok?

I’m on my 6th or 7th round of med tweaking with my new med person, my left wrist is healing up from a bad fall (3 hairline fractures), and I’m doing my best to hold on in here. I think my meds are moving in the right direction because I’m not feeling half as bad as I used to, I’m not skipping around and looking at the world going la la la….but I can feel an improvement and so can my therapist. But I’m still fatigued a lot *think, work shift, eat, go to sleep by 7 or8pm* of course I am still waking up multiple times per night (as per usual) but I think the earlier sleeping is probably just due to mental fatigue. I am overwhelmed.
I promise I’ll get back to listing things on etsy, talking about dolls and photostories.

Dolls. Action Figures. Managing my collection…

Well, things haven’t played out quite the way I intended since my last post, but that’s ok. I want to thank everyone who has sent me an email or a comment on any of my recent posts. I’ve been overwhelmed by facing emails and fatigue has been tough to deal with and it is affecting me.

I wanted to post here and mention that I have started a small project for 1/6 scale. I’m not ready to do more than something small because otherwise I’ll be overwhelmed.

My project for this month (and probably into next) is to make a 1/6 scale radiator. I’m going to need a couple of them in different sizes and shapes for Emerson’s apartment diorama. I’ll post photos as soon as I am past the “figuring it out” phase 😉

It’s been a month since I last posted….what’s changed?

Lots. I’ve gotten a part time job which I am finding fun if somewhat overwhelming due to new things to learn and of course face-to-face interaction with people. But it’s not bad and I am getting a kick out of it and a little $ so I’m not going to complain.

Doll wise I have been doing a lot of doll-swaps trading out dolls from my collection for other dolls that I want in my collection (primarily for characters in the quinlan chronicles). I have a Bus Stop Darla coming my way (in exchange for NO Eden), And I was super stoked when I managed to score Sneak Peek Eden and Up All night Lilith. I particularly wanted them for their cream skintone which is by far the nicest that IT does. I am plannning on making them cousins of Giselle & co and while they won’t be prominent in the stories at first, I do plan on having them in a few arcs.

I don’t think that I will be buying many dolls this year–the exceptions being I want Erin (from the reckless collection)

and the AKA Gigi from the same collection (Only because I want her head since I think she will be easy to transform into an alternative version of Emerson without me having to do too much to make it work).

Then there’s Trouble Eden, who’s a lottery doll from IT…

I never win any of their lotteries, so I really doubt I’d get her. I hope to use one of the lilith/edens with the cream skintone to make a faux-trouble-eden. She’ll be better because she’ll have the cream skintone instead of the japan skintone which Integrity has allowed to get more and more grey (not that you can tell in their promo shot).

Anyway, I’m still trying to get my meds balanced. I’m still not sleeping regularly, which has a knock on effect to my energy and stuff. But it’s early days yet, and even though I am struggling to have the energy to do anything other than go to work, I have hope that in time I will be able to be more productive, less drained and tired. After all, there are a crapton of diorama things I want to do!


It’s 3:53am do you know where your dolls are?

Yeah. For the most part. There are a couple who are MIA but I’m sure that I’ve put them someplace that is “safe”…for some reason or another. I’ve been awake since about 12:30 and spent a couple of hours tossing, turning and looking at Pinterest on my phone while snuggling with Jess. I’m so happy to finally have a lap/chest cat again. 🙂

I’m slowly dealing with my depression. I’ve been switched onto some new meds last week, and an additional one on Monday so we’ll see how it plays out. I feel much better now that I am out of crisis and don’t have to have someone watching me full-time. Ugh.

Mark will be heading off to england again next week. We both know it’s not the best time for him to go, but his mother (who is geriatric and afaik has everything wrong in the universe with her) is having operations done on both of her eyes and she needs someone to take care of her and the house and her alzheimer-diseased husband -nope. Not gonna be much help there. His sister who lives in London, can’t be assed, so it falls to Mark. They have a strange family dynamic. (Or I don’t know, maybe it’s a normal one, since I had something way beyond that_).

To try to keep from hitting another bad patch, I have agreed to do two things while Mark is away:

  1. Make as many props and accessories as I can for the sets and dioramas I want to get done this year. Small projects, sure, but there are massive amounts of things to be made and if I do a couple every day that will help (if nothing else I’ll have some stuff made LOL)
  2. Take 1 photo each week of the same diorama — each time decorated totally differently. That will take effort and time and I hope I can keep my motivation up while doing it.

Anyway just wanted a quick check in.

Thanks everyone who’ve emailed and stuff. It goes a long way toward making me feel less alone.


NDR: When everything seems to be too much…

Look folks, my depression exists.
It sucks and sadly life sucks too when I’m having a mde (major depressive episode).
I went into crisis over the weekend. Long story short I was looking hard for reasons not to cause harm to myself, and to that end I left the house early in the am in my pajamas and went for a long, long walk in the freezing rain and my slippers. My husband found me at some point and took me home and I was just a gibbering wreck who hurt so much that I couldn’t really grasp where things were connected or not. I left the house because I wasn’t safe and I was struggling not to use my scalpel knife and do it right, or I was going to go start the car in the garage and just sit in it until the carbon monoxide did the job. I walked instead. and walked. and cried and walked. I am glad I live on a rural road.

Yesterday I met my new psych/med manger. That was a hard step to take, but much needed. He put me on new meds and took me off other meds. The good news is that I got to be seen before I lost total control of myself, and I got the help I needed to keep me hanging on a while longer. I am hoping the new meds and management will help me get back onto an even keel and not be so ground down and tired and able to get things done.

I know the blog has been quiet, and that I really haven’t bothered to post anything. I will try to get back into it although I don’t know how much longer I am going to do the Etsy shop thing. If I can continue on an upward swing I’ll keep it open. If not then I’ll put it on hiatus again.

I’ll post again when I have something upbeat to say.
love you all.

Etsy Preview!

Well it’s really been rough but I can say that I finally got the first round of photos shot for my Etsy shop:

It’s going on 11pm here and I realize I have to be reasonable and realistic about what I can get done tonight. So instead of getting the listings done, and allllll the photos done for you guys to see, I’m only going to share some teaser photos. I’ll be listing the various items tomorrow throughout the day (when I get them all done tomorrow I’ll post about it, I promise!)




Now, here’s the fun part for those of you who take the time to read my blog-posts and the encouragement that so many of you have taken the time to give me. I’m grateful for all the love you’ve shared and want to share something nice for you. I’ve got a 15% off coupon that you can use in my etsy shop! It’s CKW10DEC. It expires on December 10th so don’t forget to use it 🙂
(I know it says the shop isn’t open–it’ll be open as soon as I start the first listing!)

So I’m knackered. Stick a fork in me. I’m done. Hope you all enjoy seeing these photos and will check out my Etsy shop soon!


Coming soon!

Hey everyboooooodddyyy!
Just want to let you all know that despite the issues here I am going to be re-opening my Etsy shop on Monday of next week! 😀
(and if you stop by here, on Monday and check my blog post you’ll find a coupon too!)

Happy Thanksgiving (in advance) to Everyone!

my photography

Most of you probably know I’m not the best or most creative of photographers. Since I am starting a new year (it’s my birthday) I decided that I want to push myself with regards to my photography.

I m working on a few plans and wit luck I will share the results here.

As the majority of my photography is shot indoors i decided that I ought to try more conventional setup s and see what the results are.

On a related note I’ve decided to do away with the paper backdrops and replace them with canvas painted ones. I believe they’re going to be more durable and easier to work with than the paper-based ones I used in the past.

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